its a bit awkward. you doing your thing, i am doing mine, and i am staying mute about myself because i think i got overboard by this point, and i am not sure if i wanna be updated this much on your thing when it has nothing t0 do with me - i am being selfish. i dont wanna push you and your small attempts to keep yourself in touch with me even tho i feel like you are doing this thing again when you just wanna shove it in my face, or. i dont know, i make this too complicated, and in reality its just the way you are, the way i am, and me being a coward. i am sorry. i am just too much.